Download or read book When I Am An Old Coot written by Roy English and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2001-01-19 with total page 145 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When I am an Old Coot, I will wear funny hats and loud ties, flowered underwear and bright yellow suspenders. I will break all the silly, proper rules and be a kid again. So begins a mischievous look at growing older and making the most of it. With an irreverent perspective, this absolutely hilarious book contains witticisms like these: When I am an Old Coot: "I will call 'A Current Affair' and ask them how I can order one." "I will dawdle by the cleaning lady, pretend to stumble and grab her buttocks firmly."